The phone rings,
The dispassionate voice on the phone
Non committal
‘Results suspicious
Need clarification
The doctor wants another scan.”
Dread sets in,
Coldness creeps across,
Mind benumbed,
Fear, trepidation, silent despair takes hold.
Slowly the decision is made
Disregard,
Forget,
Brush the notion aside.
Live and wait,
Time slows, drags.
Till the moment comes for a yes or a no
For a life changing prognosis.
Alone in countless ways,
Deep thoughts prevail,
Mind still closed up,
Thoughts run on unchecked.
Chemicals,
Radiation,
Body waging a war
Devouring cells, nerves, stamina
The dreaded word with a capital C
Is contemplated
Years to live or to be cut short
Friends and family
How will they deal with the news?
An appointment is set up,
Standing patiently,
Hospital gown untied,
The intimidating machines are set up.
Oh what cold, cold machines,
Cold feelings, cold room
Coldness closes in.
The pain sets in momentarily,
The machine lets up,
Tight grip eased,
Setting free as tests are done.
Black film against the lighted screen,
Embodying a reality,
White spots here and there
Mysterious,
Frightening,
Worrisome.
Doctor arrives,
Scans
Contemplates
Pronounces judgment.
April 21, 2003